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We were holding hands, palm against palm. I could feel his heart beating, his blood against my blood. When I looked up, his smile was wide and real. "Ready?" he said. I faked a smile back. I had gotten so good at faking things. I thought: You brought this on yourself, Sasha. You will never get to stop pretending. I thought: Protect those you love, no matter what the cost. He squeezed my hand. This is exactly what I always wanted. And nothing I ever wanted at all. And there is just no taking it back. "Let's go," I said. "Road trip!" He said. He couldn't begin to imagine what this actually was, He had no idea what I'd done. What any of us had. I turned the key. The engine started. We went.